Stylez Banquet

I got very emotional at the Stylez End of the Year Banquet last week. This caught me by complete surprise because I never cry, EVER, especially when saying goodbye to people. The only time I cry in public is if I'm watching a movie. But I was just overwhelmed by emotions when I had to give a speech.

I realized it was because I wanted to tell my dance mates how appreciative I was for them to be in my life. When I started this school year, I thought it would be terrible, and parts of it were. I really thought I had hit rock bottom. I was an emotionless robot at times but on the inside, I was troubled. Eventhough I did not talk to my dance mates about what happened in my life, they were a very important aspect of my life this year. My dance group was one of the only things that kept me going. My dance group was one of the only things that made me feel any emotion at all. I had great memories with them. I loved the people and all our experiences together.

So I cried really hard when I gave my speech. I even gave a 2nd one. I didnt' tell them that my mom died, but I told them I lost my ties with two of my best friends and lost a close family member all in the same year. This was a huge step for me. I never talk to anyone about my problems or even let them know. But I felt they needed to know this information for them to truly understand my appreciation and love for my teammates. It took an incredible amount of courage as well. Interestingly enough, after I told them that, I felt a huge burden lifted from my shoulders. I felt relieved. I felt very happy, to let them know more about me, and to let them know how they've influenced my life.

Without my dance group, I believe handling the loss of my mother would have been far more difficult.